Cathy's Christmas blog

This is my first Christmas since being diagnosed with Dementia. It is also my first Christmas since my mum died and I lost my job due to having dementia.

The build up to Christmas was stressful as it is for everyone. Most of the gifts I gave I had to get online as I am not able to go shopping on my own due to mobility issues. I don’t have anyone to help me with my wheelchair. When I ordered online, I had to write everything down in my notebook so I could remember what I ordered and for whom. I managed without too many disasters. On Christmas morning I had mixed feelings. Our usual Christmas day was going to my mum’s and opening presents. I would usually have dinner with mum and my children would go home with their families. This year my children came to mine, opened presents and then went home. I felt as though I had a big hole inside. I felt so lonely and scared. While my family was there, I kept thinking “Is this the last Christmas we will have together? Where I will know them?” I kept my feelings hidden until they left. The time between Christmas and the new year was difficult without any of the Dementia groups being open. My children don’t talk about it, so all these thoughts kept going around in my head. I start to think I am going insane, do I have dementia, am I making too much of it.

I am so grateful for the support I have with my dementia groups. I honestly don’t know how I could cope without them.